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| Millaa Millaa Cemetery Conveniences (courtesy Cairns Post) |
In Scenic Public Toilet world, where I
humbly claim to be an Australian expert, I thought I'd
seen it all!
From the vast, sweeping plains of the
Queensland Outback; the spectacular 'Bali Hai' backdrop of Lord Howe
Island; the magnificent Southern Yorke Peninsula coastline; the RED
rocky ranges of the Northern Territory; the high country of Victoria;
and the drama of plunging cliffs and blowholes in Western Australia,
I've been privileged to discover – and use for their intended
purpose – some of the most amazingly scenic amenities on earth!
But I never thought it'd be my pleasure
to do my business in a coffin!
We extended our July 2011 stay in the
excellent
Millaa Millaa Tourist Park on the outskirts of this tiny
Atherton Tablelands town in the shadow of Mt Bartle Frere
(Queensland's highest mountain) and Mt Bellenden Ker (Queensland's 2nd highest mountain) several times.
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| Millaa Millaa Caravan Park Campsite |
That's because it's an excellent and
superbly scenic base from which to explore the whole tablelands
region. Most of which can be seen from the Millaa Millaa Lookout,
starting with Mt Bartle Frere's bulk and sweeping around over the
superb green panorama that makes up this cool – both literally AND
figuratively – tropical paradise.
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| View from Millaa Millaa Lookout, Atherton Tablelands, Far North Queensland |
Just down the road are the archetypal
Millaa Millaa Falls – so named (by me) because the word 'waterfall'
probably conjures up an image something like the falls in the photo below, right??
Further afield past magnificent
rainforest and one of the more picturesque landscapes in OZ is the
marvellous
Train to Tumoulin; the plunging
Crater at Mt Hypipamee,
and the marvellous Mungalli Creek Dairy and Organic Cafe!
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| Millaa Millaa Falls, Atherton Tablelands, Far North Queensland |
And that's just what's REALLY close!!
Somehow, in the midst of all this
traveller's fantasy world, I missed the unique coffin-shaped public toilet in the
Millaa Millaa cemetery.
Don't ask me how. Although I'd like to
think it's because it hadn't been built back then ...
But now, however, after a disturbing
report from readers Cheryl and Franciscus, it looks like I'll NEVER
have the chance to do my business in a coffin!
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| 'Millaa Moo' the Reluctant Cow - a 'Rural Women for Culture & Community' project |
Awhile back, the local chamber of
commerce asked the shire council for an amenities block in the
cemetery to make it easier for residents to attend funerals.
Now correct me if I'm wrong, but my
experience tells me that: 1) a higher number of older than younger
people die; and 2) a higher number of older than younger people
experience body malfunctions requiring a quick trip to the
conveniences.
Ergo: the profile of a funeral attendee
is an older person requiring the conveniences to be … well …
convenient!
The factors making Millaa Millaa
tropical anomaly – single digit winter temperatures and high
incidence of mist and fog – already make standing in the cemetery
for any length of time an uncomfortable experience for a funeral goer
(as profiled above). But factor in the effects of the cold and
distance of the cemetery from the town, and it'd hardly be a surprise
if funeral attendance dropped off!
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| Red & Pilchard at Mungalli Creek Dairy & Organic Cafe - Queensland's 2 highest mountains in the background! |
While I don't have the benefit of
council research and statistics, the Cairns Post article indicates
that the council refused the request for cemetery conveniences on the
grounds that it didn't have the $80,000+ required for such a
building.
So what's a chamber of commerce with
initiative, drive and the support of the majority of the community to
do?
Build their own, of course!!
And while it's bizarre, but possible
that the chamber of commerce has never heard of the Red Nomad OZ
penchant for public potties, their coffin-shaped cemetery
conveniences – using volunteers and donated materials –
immediately captured my attention!
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| Millaa Millaa Cemetery Loo (photo via Pat Reynolds) |
At a cost of only $1200 – more
than 66 times cheaper than the council's own cost estimate –
perhaps they should become consultants and on-sell their innovative
budget approach around the country, or even the world! But I digress
…
While this solidly constructed septic
system loo on council land doesn't a) have council planning approval,
or b) meet all council planning requirements, it's difficult for me
to understand how it would cost another $75,000+ to ensure that it
does.
But ... I'm not a tradie, so maybe I
just don't get it.
Weirdly, letting the Millaa Millaa
community keep its toilet apparently means others could – would –
do the same thing according to the council, a strangely embarrassing
indictment in my opinion. For if the council truly believes that
other communities would build their own amenities once they'd tacitly
green-lighted Millaa Millaa's, surely this is an acknowledgement that
there aren't enough?!
While keeping the toilet operational
until such time as the Council has funds for a 'proper' one might
seem a logical compromise to laypeople such as I, apparently the dangers of
a well-built septic toilet (albeit one not complying with council
specifications) are too great.
So, last rites have been held and the loo removed to protect the Millaa Millaa residents from its dastardly dangers. AND any errant tourists who might find it amazingly, awesomely Australian.
Today.
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| Millaa Millaa Loo Graffiti (photo via Cheryl & Franciscus) |
Naturally, there are more than two
sides to this tragic tale. I'm sure the council really DIDN'T have
the money to spend on a cemetery toilet, given there's already a
public toilet in the fine picnic and barbecue area in main street.
Graced, incidentally, by the fine
artwork in the previous photo.
And unlike me, there are those who find
a coffin-shaped toilet in a cemetery offensive – SO offensive that they spray it with graffiti, even though according
to my sources, over 300 (around 90%) of the townspeople have signed a
petition in support of maintaining their gloriously gothic loo.
The final tragedy is that even though
the Millaa Millaa masterpiece has just been moved down the road, it's
lost the location that made it unique so I'll never be able to give
it the full benefits of the Red Nomad OZ treatment.
I've never actually seen
the conveniences for myself, and photos are via Cheryl and Franciscus
(blessings to you both); Pat Reynolds (Chamber of Commerce president)
and the Cairns Post.
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| Locals toast the passing of the Millaa Millaa Cemetary Loo (photo via Pat Reynolds) |
And although the devastating irony of such un-Australian treatment of something so quintessentially Australian on the eve of Australia Day means I'll never see it in its rightful place, I'm not letting Australia's Scenic
Public Toilet #30 get away!
Visit the
Millaa Millaa Cemetery Loo Facebook Page HERE and show your support!!
Read More:
* Much of the information in
this post came from the original Cairns Post article
